I just came back from having my mind blown at the Wonder Woman movie. I had a fandango ticket code I needed to use up this week. So I decided to go see Wonder Woman tonight. Thank goodness too. I needed to take myself on a romantic date after the day I had. Miss SassyPants traded in her cute, jestful sass for some defiant, disrespectful sass. Let's just say, I had had enough of it.
Some of the attitude did correspond with her Sensory Processing Disorder. For the most part, she is considered hyper-sensitive. She craves stimulation of movement, high energy, unfocused, easily distracted, touches roughly, talks loudly, food texture issues, being touched issues, social interaction issues, sensitive hearing, and horrible sense of self awareness in her surroundings (standing in the way or too close). She is hypo-sensitive in being overly clumsy and slow to realize injury pain. All of these senses are effected by different stimuli. When she isn't able to release pent up energy, she quickly becomes overstimulated and responds by being hyper active. She physically cannot sit still. Before she knows it, she"s jumping on the couch, off the couch, climbing furniture, running everywhere, and knocking into things and people in her path. Her body tells her to seek that stimulation to calm her overactive brain. As you can imagine, a high alert sensory day can be, and is, overwhelming for both of us. I spend most of my day getting on to her for breaking the house rules. I also have found there is a correlation between her sugar intake and easy overstimulation, which is why I watch her sugar consumption. Admittedly, I haven't been the best at that lately and allow her to over indulge. All of it accumulates into her being incredibly impulsive and unfocused. Every single disagreement becomes a ticking time bomb for a sensory meltdown. Once she has one, many follow through out the day. The morning started off rough because she didn't want to change from her pjs into regular clothes. Next was the physical fighting me while I tried to wash and warm compress her eyes. (Something we do twice a day and have been doing it for months now to prevent stys.) It was raining this morning, so I couldn't run her to the park for some physical activity. The sensory overload grew and grew. By 9 am, I had taken all of her most prized toys from her room, given her several time outs, and made her go lay in bed for an hour to calm down. During that hour, I did some old school Denise Austin Pilates DVD for exercise and to calm down. My anxiety and depression was on high alert. Hoping she had changed her attitude for the positive, I allowed her to come out of her room. Unfortunately, she was even more wound up than before. Finally, we made it to lunch and nap time. I had already lost my cool with her once for jumping on the couch and loving too roughly with her brother. (Seriously, she smothers him with hugs and kisses, when he tries to fend her off, she latches on even tighter, and that makes him cry out.) After lunch, she proceeds to go upstairs and play with her train set, waking her brother. She knows she is supposed to get ready for nap, not play with toys. By this time, I'm a ticking time bomb of emotions. I explained to her, yet again, not to get out of bed unless it was to go potty, then get right back in bed. Lately she's been getting out of bed and playing in her room or in her bathroom, which leaves her tired and cranky. I heard her get up several times and take longer than usual getting back into bed. Finally with 30 minutes left in nap time, I hear her banging around. Obviously, out of her bed and playing; which wakes her brother. At this point, I am so frazzled and lost for words at her behavior. Besides spanking her, I've taken every single thing away from her and put her in timeout numerous times; nothing is phasing her. And that is a sensory meltdown, one that escalates all day long, sometimes for days. Embarrassingly, I didn't keep my composure and ended up yelling at her to stop behaving this way, trying to snap her out of this meltdown. At the end of the day, it makes me feel like the world's worst mom to lose my composure.
On top of all of that, Little Brother, whom I call Mr. HappyPants now, is teething. He has a horrible diaper rash going on too. So, he isn't as happy as normal. He did watch me do the Yoga video and found it comical. As with any crawling 10 month old, he is into everything. When SP is acting up, it takes away from me being able to watch him. Before I know it, he is taking logs out of the fireplace, unplugging lamps, yanking on blinds, and pulling the oven drawer out. All in the blink of an eye. Who would have though someone so chunky could crawl so fast.
I've personally been struggling with PPD/A a little more this week. Therapy was intense and had me reflect on emotions that I had otherwise suppressed enough to function. Basically, it was like ripping off a scab to a healing wound. With SP's behavior, my heighten PPD/A, and HP's exploring adventures; I had a rough day. When Hubby came home, I couldn't leave for the theaters fast enough.

And my final mom meme:

And that's why I took myself on a date tonight. The movie was awesome. I ate my weight in buttery popcorn and had an icee coke all to myself. Tomorrow is a new day.

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