Thought Process

This post is going to be random. My brain is swarming with topics that do not flow together at all. You have been warned…

This morning I sat down with my giant cup of coffee and finally finished all 7 seasons of Gilmore Girls. It was bittersweet. I didn’t remember much from seasons 5-7. My living situations during the airing of those seasons were not conducive to watching television programming that I enjoyed or at all. So, my sentiments on the last season versus the 4 part series on Netflix is as follows: I enjoyed the ending of the Netflix much better, although it would have made more sense when Rory was 22 instead of 32. I really disliked the ending of season 7. Actually, it is safe to say, I didn’t like season 7 at all. Personally, the whole April bit and Lorelai marrying Christopher was stupid. The series should have ended with Lorelai and Luke having a beautiful, unique wedding. Rory should have graduated Yale, broken up with Logan after his proposal, then found out she was pregnant. Leaving with us to wonder did Logan step up to fatherhood? Or run from it like Christopher. Also, I thought the Netflix series spent the majority of the time giving us a nostalgic refresher than actually moving forward with the story line. That annoyed me. I felt that Rory being so promiscuous didn’t align with the core values of the character from the original series; which detracted from the show. In other words, I think the Netflix ending would have better suited the original series for season 7. That’s my two cents.

Now that I’m finished watching GG, I have my mornings to read and drink giant cups of coffee. I am still reading The Ministry of Motherhood. Honestly, I am still in a fragile state when it comes to all things mothering. The book has me weeping most of the time. And once that weeping starts, it is hard to turn off. (Struggling with PPD just sucks.) I enjoy the book and it notes all of what I inspire to be as a mother. However, it kinda slaps me in the face with the fact that I am failing at that right now. Because the book is more of a bible study, it centers arounds Christ like examples. I just find that difficult to grasp at the moment. In the beginning of this PPD, I prayed so much to be delivered from it, to surround me with His presence, to guide me through the depression and LB’s diagnosis. He has been silent, allowing me to struggle and drown on my own. So, I’m angry. I already do not understand the reasoning behind this event in our life, why I am struggling so much with PPD, and He just gives me silence. I don’t even feel His presence. This whole experience has shaken me to my core. It has whittled at my faith. The book just doesn’t help that aspect. 

I bought another book yesterday. I did a 5 day study through Lifeway with Johanna Gaines, from Fixer Upper. (Gosh, I love them! Please build and design me a farmhouse!) After the study, I received a coupon to go towards their book, The Magnolia Story. I figured the coupon would be some dinky 5% off; however, it was to purchase the book at $15! As SP says, “I can’t believe it!” I am eager to start reading it. I’m sure I will have it finished over the weekend. The husband and SP are going on another hunting trip, leaving wild LB and I to ourselves. Maybe I can at least finish setting up the embroidery machine. HAHA! 

Yesterday, after dropping SP off at school, I decided to workout. I only had about 20 minutes to spare before needing to feed LB. I did an intense full body kettle bell circuit. I wasn’t able complete all 3 rounds, so I went for a run too. Today I was stiff and achy. To combat it, I went for another run. Unfortunately my arthritic knees was not happy running and I had to mostly walk. Now, I’m just plain sore. Hopefully tomorrow I can complete my kettle bell circuit and go for another run/walk. I am trying to lose the baby weight. I need to work on controlling my portion sizes though. LB likes the outing and fresh air. It’s so adorable when I dress his chubby baby cute-ness in athletic clothes to go riding in the stroller. He is such a big boy. 

If I’m going to actually exercise, I probably should go to bed. I still need to unwind some. 

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