Handy Helper

This is a total brag post about my husband. He is pretty awesome! After a long day at work, he takes over entertaining our daughter to give me a break. He helps with the dishes, tames the mountain of clean laundry, and patiently readies our daughter for bed. He even eats my over-cooked pork chops without complaint. (Pork chops get me every time.) On the weekends, rather than rest like he would prefer, he tags along on some adventure I’ve planned for us. He just goes with the flow and says he will sleep when he’s dead. Most nights by 8:30, he is found zonked out on the sofa…what I call his pre-sleep before real sleep…while I steadily type out my blog. Yet, he seems to always wake up in a good mood, coffee in hand, and starts the day all over. His one vice…he has to have his gym time to unwind before coming home. I can give him that.

I am one lucky lady!

I hear and read from other women how their husbands do not help at all. Actually, they hinder quite a bit…”like having a giant child” is the common description. I’ve been to many women’s groups where the wives have cried because they are so tired of their husbands. I have read countless spouse rants on social media about it too. It saddens me that so many relationships are filled with despair, resentment, and hate.

I have to admit, our relationship wasn’t always sunshine and roses. The husband needed a lot of help in learning how to clean. He no longer had a mom to clean for him and he didn’t live alone. For example, if you change clothes, put those clothes in the nearby hamper or hang/fold them up. Clothes do not pile up next to the bed or on the floor of the closet. I had to learn how to communicate my expectations for him, not nag him and treat him like a child.

He simply doesn’t see messes like I do. I am a neat freak, everything is just so. I learned that I needed to delegate and schedule what I needed him to help with. It clicked for us. It brought us closer. I no longer felt like he was being disrespectful of my feelings by constantly creating messes. He no longer felt nagged, hated, or like a child.

Now, if he makes a mess, he simply takes the time to clean it up. He doesn’t leave it for me. We’ve also gotten pretty good at thanking each other for our contributions, not pointing out our pitfalls. That is how we have shifted from the typical dissatisfied couple, to a helpful couple. It does seem Men are from Mars, and Women from Venus. We have to sync our communication types to grow. I am so glad we figured out what worked for us. I like our sunshine and roses relationship. I am thankful that our daughter has such a great example of what a great husband is.

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