Is Socializing Overrated?

I completely forgot to do my Friday blog! My husband suggested that I go to the gym on Thursday, instead of my normal routine of grocery shopping, and move it until Friday. It was going to rain and I wouldn’t be able to ride horses. It seemed like a great idea. Until, on Friday morning, I had a parent-teacher meeting, the grocery shopping, and picking up the kid…all in the pouring rain. Pouring rain = flooded Savannah roads = horrific drivers everywhere. I was so tired and my whole day was thrown off. I kept thinking it was Thursday because of grocery shopping. This is a prime example of why I like to stick to my schedule and routines. Just call me a creature of habit. Also, as soon as I got the kid down for nap, I went down for nap too.

I’ve been a little stressed as of late. Stress immediately effects my sleep. I become such a light sleeper, the slightest movement or sound wakes me…for hours. Needless to say, the next day is tiresome and foggy with a headache. Of course, my stress turns into anxiety over worrying about something I cannot actually control. {According to my husband, I am the biggest worry wart he knows; rivaling his Granny. Honestly, isn’t worrying about the family in the Granny job description? I think so; by fault, I will be an awesome Granny someday. I’m a Granny in training! Haha! In all seriousness, we absolutely love my husband’s Granny and all the concern she has for us. That concern is her love language, which let’s us know she has a great deal of love for us. I am the same way though. If I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t worry about you.}

I always stress about my daughter. Mainly the fact of, am I doing this mothering thing right? Am I teaching her all the right tools to be a well adjusted person? I could go on and on with these questions. Over the summer, we put her in a pre-school summer camp to allow her to be social with other children her age. She loved it and really blossomed. Then, we put her in the pre-school during the week for a few hours. Every night she talks about going to school the next day to play with her friends. (Her words, not mine.) So, when I went to the parent-teacher meeting and they told me she is incredibly smart, but not wanting to be social with the other kids in the class; it threw me for a loop. More like majorly shocked me.

She is incredibly social with us, other adults, and other children. When I take her to the playground, she plays with everyone! That includes talking. To me, they described a completely different kid. They suggested putting her in a speech therapy program. Again, that threw me for a loop. Isn’t her problem, a social issue, not speech. The kid talks, and talks, and talks. Goodness, does the kid talk…in sentences! So, my stress centers around many questions and concerns.

Is it really such a big deal that she doesn’t want to socialize with kids her age? Is this something that truly needs therapy, especially speech therapy? How is speech therapy going to help her talk to her peers, when she has a vast vocabulary? Isn’t there a possibility that putting her in such a therapy program could have her “labeled”? What labels could be placed upon her and could they be false? Or could this be a phase that she out grows? Or she could be introverted, similar to her parents? Aren’t most intelligent people often slower to be social? (I can think of many examples of people I personally know that are social around other intelligent people, but aren’t necessarily Mr. or Miss Popular either.) Could her personality be more reserved than most, much like her parents. And, if this is such a big deal, what can I do to help her become more social in school? Isn’t that the point of being in school?

So, I have all of these questions just floating in my head, building into more questions, concerns, and fears. I was told that if I waited too late for the therapy, that her peers and their parents will place labels on her, leading her to be excluded. Unfortunately, I do find that as the accepted societal norm. I see a problem with the norm. Shouldn’t we teach our children, through practice, to include everyone; even if someone isn’t exactly “like” us. As in, someone maybe more quiet, that isn’t a reason to exclude him or her. Isn’t this the same social issue adults are facing today? Great examples include Mommy Wars, Women Wars (in general), our cultural differences, our racial differences, our political differences, and the list goes on. We do not want to associate or include someone too different than us, which leads us divided.

In my true open and raw form, I look back at my childhood and it strikes fear in me. I was quiet. I didn’t understand the social norms among my classmates. I thought many of my classmates were immature and petty. I didn’t want to partake in the same issues. I felt I always saw the bigger picture of life. I felt excluded. I don’t want that for my daughter. I don’t want her excluded because she is quiet or views things differently. However, I do not want a false label placed upon that restricts and excludes her more.

So, as a mom, I stand in the crossroads of making an important decision on behalf of my daughter. A decision that could potentially affect her forever. And I’m scared…

 

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