Isn’t it odd how people like to stay within their comfort zones, even if the zone isn’t perceived as satisfying? Why is that?
I know for me, it is fear of failure & being judged for that failure.
In a previous post, I talked about my struggles as a SAHM and the desire of a career. Yet, I stay a SAHM because it is comfortable for me and my family.
However, I know it is because I fear of failing. I would be asking a lot from my family!
I would have to go back to school. It’s been 6 years. There isn’t a close by Master’s program offered, so it would have to be online. Which there are a number of “degree mills” to watch out for. I need to study for the GRE. Been there, that was overwhelming. The admissions process to one considerable program requires 3 academic references. Uh, again, it’s been 6 years. I doubt I will be remembered.
All of these “ifs” grip me with fear. Fear of letting my family down, after so much sacrifice. Of course, if I stay a SAHM the only sacrifice is my dream of a career. And that is comfortable to me. Am I happy? Most days, although I always feel that longing to be more. Would I be happier working towards my dream? I’m not sure. That places me outside of my comfort zone.
Am I willing to step out of my comfort zone and face failure?
Or stay comfortable and give up a dream.
Do you or have you allowed fear to keep you in an unsatisfied comfort zone?
*Disclaimer: Please do not take this as I am ungrateful to be a SAHM. I am extremely grateful. I have so many irreplaceable memories with my daughter that many parents miss. I’ve watched and helped with all of those adorable baby firsts. Now, I am watching her little mind expand with new knowledge. A mesmerizing process. But I struggle with the idea that I am selfish for wanting more for myself, with the fear that I may be failing her as a mother for having these struggles. I write these posts because I know I am not the only one struggling.