I dread to hear that question in a social setting. Then, the replies of: a doctor of some sort, an educator of some sort, an attorney, in real estate, and the list goes on. I sit there, mentally zapped back to sitting in school and praying that the teacher does not call on me. Then I hear my husband say, “I’m an engineer.” I know it is my turn. I put on my confident, happy-go-lucky face and reply, “I’m a stay-at-home mom.” After hearing every “oohh”, “ahhh”, “interesting” comments after everyone’s occupation, I hear silence or “That’s great!” in a fake excited tone.
I just want to shout (maybe sing to the tune in Tangled), “I have a dream!”
That dream did not include being a SAHM. I know it is best for my child and family at the moment. But the misconceptions that people have about being a SAHM absolutely drives me insane. I am either a lazy, at-my-wits-end, coffee/wine combo drinking, yoga pant wearing, watch tv all day robot OR a lonely, mental state of a child, yoga pant wearing, coffee/wine combo drinking, adult attention craving, at-my-wits-end, house maid.
Do you see what I did there?
The misconceptions are continually being pushed by those
lovely annoying YouTube videos uploaded by other SAHMs and their families. I’m sure you have seen them floating around on other social media forums. I actually keep my house clean, my kid picks up her toys, I make time to shower, wear presentable clothing in public, and I do drink copious amounts of coffee (I did that before the kid).
Because I do have a dream occupation, being a SAHM isn’t fun for me. It kinda reminds me of high school. Kids have a blast making memories with their friends, but they cannot wait to get out & grow either. I love making memories with my kiddo. She is a hoot! But I am putting myself on hold, while I nurture her growth. I feel like life passes me by, while hers is just getting started. That is hard for me to deal with, right now. My coping technique is to pretend I am different occupations. So, I am a chef with a mini sous chef, a professional organizer with a mini assistant, a house maid with a mini maid, a pre-school teacher enriching a young mind, and sometimes a nurse when the kid decides to be a superhero and fly off the couch, busting her lip.
One day, I want to be able to say, “I am a psychologist or work in the mental health industry” with total, true confidence.
Unfortunately, all I have is a BA in SOCY. I have a long way before I can introduce myself as doctor. I fear that that will only happen when I’m 50. Then what is the point?
This topic has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. It also affects if I have more children. The more children, the smaller this dream becomes. Like I said in my bio page, I am a honest and raw person. I splay my thoughts and feelings out to dry. Some women take to being a SAHM as their calling, some women (like me) struggle with it, and some women just get a job outside of the house. What do you have to say? Are you a SAHM? Do you have any encouragements, differing opinions? Do you want to tell me to “suck it up, buttercup”? That’s fine! Comment & let me know!