What is your job?

I dread to hear that question in a social setting. Then, the replies of: a doctor of some sort, an educator of some sort, an attorney, in real estate, and the list goes on. I sit there, mentally zapped back to sitting in school and praying that the teacher does not call on me. Then I hear my husband say, “I’m an engineer.” I know it is my turn. I put on my confident, happy-go-lucky face and reply, “I’m a stay-at-home mom.” After hearing every “oohh”, “ahhh”, “interesting” comments after everyone’s occupation, I hear silence or “That’s great!” in a fake excited tone.

I just want to shout (maybe sing to the tune in Tangled), “I have a dream!”

That dream did not include being a SAHM. I know it is best for my child and family at the moment. But the misconceptions that people have about being a SAHM absolutely drives me insane. I am either a lazy, at-my-wits-end, coffee/wine combo drinking, yoga pant wearing, watch tv all day robot OR a lonely, mental state of a child, yoga pant wearing, coffee/wine combo drinking, adult attention craving, at-my-wits-end, house maid.

Do you see what I did there?

The misconceptions are continually being pushed by those lovely annoying YouTube videos uploaded by other SAHMs and their families. I’m sure you have seen them floating around on other social media forums. I actually keep my house clean, my kid picks up her toys, I make time to shower, wear presentable clothing in public, and I do drink copious amounts of coffee (I did that before the kid).

Because I do have a dream occupation, being a SAHM isn’t fun for me. It kinda reminds me of high school. Kids have a blast making memories with their friends, but they cannot wait to get out & grow either. I love making memories with my kiddo. She is a hoot! But I am putting myself on hold, while I nurture her growth. I feel like life passes me by, while hers is just getting started. That is hard for me to deal with, right now. My coping technique is to pretend I am different occupations. So, I am a chef with a mini sous chef, a professional organizer with a mini assistant, a house maid with a mini maid, a pre-school teacher enriching a young mind, and sometimes a nurse when the kid decides to be a superhero and fly off the couch, busting her lip.

One day, I want to be able to say, “I am a psychologist or work in the mental health industry” with total, true confidence.

Unfortunately, all I have is a BA in SOCY. I have a long way before I can introduce myself as doctor. I fear that that will only happen when I’m 50. Then what is the point?

This topic has been weighing on my mind a lot lately. It also affects if I have more children. The more children, the smaller this dream becomes. Like I said in my bio page, I am a honest and raw person. I splay my thoughts and feelings out to dry. Some women take to being a SAHM as their calling, some women (like me) struggle with it, and some women just get a job outside of the house. What do you have to say? Are you a SAHM? Do you have any encouragements, differing opinions? Do you want to tell me to “suck it up, buttercup”? That’s fine! Comment & let me know!

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4 thoughts on “What is your job?

  1. Today part of my blogging post is to write about my dream job and the very first thing I thought was being a SAHM but the more I thought about it the more I think I will also struggle. This is me saluting you. I see the need in my daughters life but we can’t afford it right now…maybe with baby 2. Well done mom!

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    • Thank you! Being a SAHM is equal parts rewarding and torturous. Some women cannot imagine any other job, which is amazing. But others, like me, struggle. I knew it was best for family to put my dreams on hold. I was previously a veterinary technician. However, the pay was not enough for me to pay for childcare and work. It actually saved us money for me to quit my job. We struggled and lived without certain luxuries. But it made me meal plan, cook, and pass the time by cleaning. I feel like it made me a better wife.

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  2. I have been enjoying your blog so far! I just wanted to commend you for being a stay at home mom, seriously. I am sure that K will appreciate the time spent with her when she is a mom and will look back on it fondly.
    I must admit, I long to be a stay at home mom, at least currently. I do often wonder though if I do get to achieve this one day if I will wind up feeling like you. The grass is always greener on the other side, isn’t it.
    Keep up the blogging and taking great care of that LO. 🙂

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    • Thank you! I’ve been enjoying yours too! Yes, it seems the grass is always greener. I have a friend that has worked and stayed home with her kids, she equally complained about both. Haha! I feel like you have to do what makes you happier, because you parent better as a happy parent. I firmly believe if I already had my Masters and worked in the mental health industry before becoming a mom, I would be happier as a SAHM.

      Liked by 1 person

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